One of my goals for the revision process is to improve the summaries of the different sources, which was suggested by my peers. Right now, the summaries and paraphrasing of the main points of the sources are too long so, I need to condense them so that they get right to the point. This would also help for reducing the word count for my essay. Also, I plan on improving my naysayer paragraph and relating it back to the thesis at a higher degree. To do this, I plan on adding a personal connection like my peer’s suggested to help achieve this goal. I think that this will be my biggest challenge because I felt that this paragraph was weak because it goes against my overall view and might be difficult to relate something personal into the opposing argument. If this is too challenging, I will reach out to my friend in another English 110 class to read over my essay and provide feedback for how I should fix this problem. If this doesn’t work, then I will reach out to Professor Emerson and ask for advice for how to connect this naysayer paragraph with my overall thesis.
Great. I hope our conversation helped the other day. I look forward to reading your revision!